| Freya: | Why do witches use brooms? I mean anythings gotta be more comfortable than a wooden stick! Maybe that’s why they’re so cranky and cursing people all the time. |
| Waffle: | They utilize brooms to fly in popular fairytales and media. |
| Freya: | No! Really? I thought they used them to clean their big hats. Of course they use them to fly! But why brooms? Couldn’t they use flying lawn chairs or tables instead? |
| Waffle: | Lawn Chairs and tables are not as aerodynamic as brooms. They are less convenient to carry as well. |
| Freya: | Parking lots exist for that very reason! And do you think magic really cares about aerodynamics or whatever? |
| Waffle: | Yes. I came to this conclusion based on how you struggle to fly as a ghost. Therefore it is my hypothesis that paranormal activity, including magic, must obey some laws of physics. |
| Freya: | Wow! Fat shaming the gorgeous plus size ghost who can’t fly, I see how it is hehe. You’ll have to apologize by feeding me a mountain of greasy food later! But that makes me think, does the flying magic come from the witch or the broom itself? |
| Waffle: | There are no studies on magical brooms in my database. However in fictional entertainment most brooms do not require magic from the rider in order to fly. |
| Freya: | Ooo, maybe I will be able to fly then! We’ve just gotta find anything other than a broom that flies! Hehe I’d finally be able to make the saying “When cows fly” come true! |
| Waffle: | The saying is “When pigs fly”. It is meant to be used for when something is impossible. |
| Freya: | What’s so impossible about that? Just tie a bunch of balloons to a pig and watch it fly! The people below better watch out though haha. Oh look, a lawn chair! Waffle, it’s a sign! Hehe, are you ready to see this ground beef become sky beef? |
| Waffle: | No. Magic lawn chairs and brooms are fiction and cannot fly. |
| Freya: | Flying ghost’s are fiction too! Oh wait… I mean until today! *pumps fist in the air*! Let’s claim my rightful throne! *Plop* Hehe my thighs really fill this out huh? Oh! I think I feel the magic already! |
| Waffle: | Are you in need of a rope to keep you fastened to the chair? |
| Freya: | Hehe don’t worry, my butt makes a good seat belt! Besides, I feel it warming up! It’s gonna take off any second now!! |
| Waffle: | You are not flying. |
| Freya: | Hmm, Oh! I’ve probably gotta think about flying too huh? Ok, let’s try this! |
| Freya: | Welcome aboard Lard airlines flight 53. This is your pilot Freya speaking. My thighs are starting to feel hot and sweaty squished together like this so I’m gonna fly fast and disregard all passenger safety. However if you are a passenger that smuggled food or drink onto the plane, can you please make your way up to the cockpit in order to feed me. Passengers who comply will be granted a complimentary pillow to protect their head. Also if you could turn your phones on at this time and write a review of your flight praising me and complaining about the complimentary food and drink that would be greatly appreciated. Oh, Please note there will be no complimentary food or drink on this flight cause I got hungry. Even after eating everything I’m still starving because they barely give you any food! I mean really, a starving mouse wouldn’t even bother with such a miniscule portion! Don’t put that I ate everything in the review though, OR ELSE! Again, thank you for flying Lard Airlines, may you have a tolerable flight! |
| Waffle: | Your method does not appear to be working. |
| Freya: | Whoa! No way Waffle! I feel it! This chair is totally flying right now! If it wasn't for my weight it’d be taking off like a rocket!! |
| Waffle: | That is illogical. In any circumstance the chair would remain stationary. |
| Freya: | Haha, attention all passengers, Lard airlines flight 53 is grounded until further notice. I'm too lazy to fly this plane and would rather stuff myself at the airport Mc Wonalds. Also If we were to take flight my weight would cause the plane to nose dive and crash instantly. Thank you again for choosing Lard Airlines, don’t forget to give me five ass spanks I mean stars on the way out! |
| Waffle: | Do not become a pilot. |
| Freya: | Hehe don’t worry, the airlines do a good enough job at crashing their own planes! Now, time for me to hop out. Uhg! *struggling noises followed by heavy breathing* |
| Freya: | I. Think. I’m. Stuck. *panting* |
| Waffle: | I can tilt the chair to make it easier for you to stand. |
| Freya: | Phew, that sounds like a good idea. |
| Waffle: | Tilting. |
| Freya: | *Struggling noises* Oh god, well, at least I’m standing now, he, he *pant* |
| Waffle: | The chair appears to be stuck on your butt. I will attempt to pull it off. |
| Freya: | Hehe, Witches have sticks up their ass and I’ve got a lawnchair squeezing mine huh? |
| Waffle: | Affirmative. Pulling. |
| Freya: | *Moans* Ahhhh *BOING* Whoa hehe. I think my ass just gave you a round of applause there! |